Step-Parenting: How Do You Bond With Your Spouse's Teenaged Children?

Being a step parent is challenging enough, particularly after a divorce. But when the children are teenaged, a new spouse may find himself or herself being treated like an intruder into a family that has longtime memories and emotional ties. What happens if the children disapprove of your marriage? What if they are old enough to express opinions about your relationship, but are not old enough to live in their own house? How do you enforce respect from teenagers living with you and your spouse? Who is responsible for making sure they don't cross the line - you, or their biological parent? Can you bond emotionally with children who have already reached their teen years? Should you try to be a parent or a friend? How do you build trust? What role should you play when it comes to enforcing rules? What do you do if they make it clear they have not accepted their parent's divorce and have not accepted you as an authority figure in their lives?