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We live in a world devoid of necessary confrontation and enlightened disagreement. Oftentimes we see an emotional pattern emphasizing the narrative that conflict and disagreement are not healthy. Where did we get such thinking? Who told us that disagreement or conflict was not good or did not contribute to our growth and development in marriage. When two dynamic people come together with the purpose of creating something greater than what each one individually could have accomplished there will be plenty of opportunity for disagreement and conflict. As a matter of fact, this is what makes marriage an exciting proposition and experience.
We come from different backgrounds with different expectations and different perspectives on what one may extract from marriage. The commonality is the desire we have for each other and the canvas we desire to paint via our marital experience. Appropriate debate opens the door for Fruit of the Spirit dimensional challenge and ultimately bi-lateral achievement.
(1) We can learn how deep our love is for each other, (2) how valuable is peace in my marriage, (3) how much do I pursue joy with my spouse even when we disagree, (4) am I patient enough to wait on the Holy Spirit to correct my spouse when I know I am right, (5) why am I pressed (in my spirit) to do good when I want to strike out in anger, (6) why should I be kind when I really don't want to, (7) why is it necessary for me to have faith when I am feeling the pressure to do wrong, (8) is it ok for me to sometime just yell and still be gentle with my spouse, and (9) what is the best way to maintain my self-control whenever we may have a small disagreement?
Your answers to these questions will determine the best way to move forward in your marriage? Having a disagreement is not a reason to think about or even give consideration to any form of long-term conflict or separation.