IT ONLY MATTERS BECAUSE WE REVERE CHARACTER

Do you have a measure of the effect masonry has had on us?  Of course it is inconclusive at the granular level. Millions of men, each with his own worldview behind those eyes, means we have the advantage of perspectives.  Some will seem frivolous. Others profound. The set point between those positions is not necessarily conclusive in itself. What is a dream today as we have learned, might be the inspiration for discoveries and applications of science tomorrow. In a way, we were there from the beginning.  Men who had understanding were those we valued.  They became influences that we elevated by ascribing to them the refinements of character. Just as each of us has that capacity, it is likely our own tendencies and humility that keeps us from such arrogance. It is for others to define character and for us to never stop striving.  Eventually we relax and loose the sense of competition that so often pushes us away from others. You are fine. Masonry is complicated. You may want to find someone with understanding that resonants through you so you will want to associate with him until you have learned and need to move on.  Hopefully you will be settled in your studies.  If you like the way masons of Bavaria go about their business, emulate them. If you have found the grace of London or authenticity of Edinburgh masonry you can pick up on those traits too. In all likihood, we absorb so many influences that we become a hybrid version, made tolerant knowing there is no need to validate your thinking further than you have, knowing you have put in the necessary work.  Where rationalizing and truth start and stop, I can't tell you. It is a question that we put to ourselves.  It is a capability of intellegence, thus the need for a moral rudder.  Subservience may not be to a man but an idea. Listen to ritual for cues. It is full of them.  Respect your ability to learn when you err and you will do well.